No. I’m not at E3. I wish I was. Nope, just a guy watching all the press conferences and reading as much news as possible. I’m now post-live-blogging the Microsoft press conference. Post-live meaning that I’m watching it on my DVR after it’s happened. Here we go. Of course, to follow along, you should probably be watching it as well, or at least checking out clips of the afor-mentioned games. They should be everywhere by the time I post this.

Update: Just because I like you guys, I’ve gone back and tried to link to videos whenever possible.

The Beatles Rock Band – I’m not a huge Beatles fan. I liked early “rock” Beatles but the later, hippier stuff kinda lost me. Interesting concept though. I do really like the instrument set. The “starburst” colored base is sweet and the drum set is very nice. I personally won’t be buying it, but I know dozens of huge Beatles fans that a game like this could get them interested in gaming in general. Release: 09.09.09

Olivia Harrison, Yoko Ono, Paul McCartney & Ringo Star – That was an incredibly awkward thank-you/introduction. I think Ringo was tipsy on something and Paul was completely uninterested to be there. Kind of a pointless name drop. Oh well.

Showing NOT Telling – 10 World Premieres. Let’s do this!

Tony Hawk: RIDE – Tony is pimping the new board controller. I’m not sure if I’m sold, but I’m certainly interested. I thought the Skate franchise had, at this point, totally destroyed the Tony Hawk series. If the controller works as advertised, and the game behind it is solid, I might have to check it out. If it’s just gimicky, this might just be the final death blow for TH. We’ll see.

Modern Warfare 2 – Pure. Awesome. Gameplay footage kind of starts off slow, but is everything I’m expecting. Looks absolutely fantastic. I’m liking the fact that they’re actually playing the game, on stage. That adds a nice “this isn’t CG” vibe. That snowmobile part looks fun. Map packs. Hmm, dunno if I like the fact that they’re already, preplanning map packs. The number of maps in the game at release should be equal to the number of map they finished. You shouldn’t launch a game with 10 maps then release two map packs of multiple maps immediately after it releases. That’s just blatent proof you could have put them on the disk from the start. That’s just greedy. It’s not like I’m not going to buy them, I just like to point out my own hypocracy. Release 11.10.09

Final Fantasy 13 – Could honestly care less. That series has been dead to me as soon as it went from 3 to 7 and 2D to 3D. As soon as the “attacks” you throw at an enemy feature larger monsters than the enemy themselves, that’s where I draw the line. What ever happened to “Attack with Sword”, “You did 12pts of damage”. Nooooo, we’ve got to summon super monsters to attack for us. Huh? Oh well, the presentation was cool. Release Spring 2k10

Exclusives…

Shadow Complex – Cliff is where a Bill Gates mugshot t-shirt. lol. So… this is obviously an XBL game. Looks like Bionic Commando, only, well, crappier.

Joy Ride – What on earth was that? Looks like Avatars meets TrackMania. Weird. Free but pay-for-play maps? Interesting idea.

Crackdown 2 – Played the first one, didn’t like it. Can’t imagine the 2nd one would be anything special.

Left 4 Dead 2 – ?!?!?! Wha?!?! Nov 17th? That’s insane. They just released the first one last November. They haven’t even added any more maps to the original. If it’s just another couple maps, wrapped up as a whole new game, I’m going to be a little disappointed in Valve. Not that it would stop me from buying it. As limited as the first one was, it was pure gaming brilliance. I hope the new one adds a little something to the mix. That was quite a teaser.

Splinter Cell Conviction –  I’m sure we’ll hear more about it in the Ubisoft press conference tonight, but damn does that look cool. I was a big fan of the serials up until Pandora’s Tomorrow. Conviction looks to be taking it’s cues strait from the show 24, especially this past season. And Micheal Ironside (who I think is doing the voice) sure sounds a lot like Jack Bauer in the first place. Excellent trailer/tease. Ohh, we get some game play. Wicked! Nice, that was a very Jack Bauer intro. Fast paced, so says the announcer. Looks like they took a cue from Rainbow 6 for the “under the door” marking of bad guys. Wow, fast paced is right. I hope those giant ugly text/tasks aren’t on the wall in the real game, because they were totally out of place. Fall 09.

Forza 3 – Looks nice. Not a big car guys, but it looks like it’ll give Grand Turismo and Project Gotham a good run. 2 Million cars traded in Forza 2? Whole businesses for making virtual race cars? What? I had no idea people did that. Wow, you learn something new every day. They have a video editor too? Hmm, those guys certainly kicked it up a notch. October 09.

Halo 3: ODST – Interesting. It’s Halo, so, once again, it kinda feels recycled. I’d really love Bungie to do something new. At the same time, it looks slightly more interesting than Halo 3, but not by much. The sneak/silent stuff could come in handy if there’s sections of the game that support it, but all the game play shows is more of the same… only darker. Not bad though. Going to have to wait for reviews for that one. Second (multiplayer) video. 09.22.09

Halo: Reach – Now, that’s something that might be interesting. Having read the novel “The Fall of Reach”, which explains the Spartan program origins, I’m more excited for this than ODST. If they do it right, it could be the “story” that the Halo series has always been looking for. Or, at the very least, it might be a good “reboot” or “prequal”. This could be very cool, provided they didn’t just recycled bits from ODST and Halo 3 for it. If it’s more original, with a similar story to the novel, that one might be very very interesting. Fall 2k10.

Alan Wake – About damn time. Just release it already! In game looks spooky, creepy and well, kinda campy, but I’ll bite if it doesn’t get old. The narrator voice over it kind of annoying. I’m hoping it’s not that over the top in the game. Killer toaster! ROFL!

Last.fm –  meh. Tried it, wasn’t really that impressed. Can’t think of a reason to use it.

Netflix upgrades – Nice. Adding and browsing the que right from the console, that’s fantastic. Good one there.

Sky.TV – I’m sure that’s good for you folks in the U.K.

Party movie watching – Hmm, interesting idea. Probably never going to use it, but not a bad idea.

Facebook and Twitter – Oh god. Please. No. Make it go away. Bad, bad Microsoft. That better be optional and disableable. I can’t stand either service. Facebook has grown into the devil and Twitter has just always annoyed me.

Metal Gear Solid – could. care. less.

Natal – You are the controller – I don’t buy it. At all. I don’t want to do it. I don’t want my friends to do it. I don’t want my dad to “change my tires”. Playing little plastic instuments in my living room was the line. Playing charades, that’s way over that line. I’m not going to “control” anything by flipping around like a moron. Sorry. Not buying it. Sticking with my controller. I don’t want their “new vision” and “new experience”. I WANT TO PLAY GAMES. VIDEO GAMES. Not some weird motion controllers bullshit. What’s next, bowling with a little platic stick in your hand… oh wait.

Spielburg – MS is just dropping more names. None of these people could actually care. “How can interactive entertainment become approachable”. I don’t want it approachable. I want GAMES. I don’t want to get grandma on board. I don’t want to play with my “entire being”, I want to play a game, with my thumbs, on a piece of plastic in my hands. That’s it. Please, let’s all just keep it simple.

Facial Recognition Login – Fucking scary. I seriously don’t want my xbox looking at me. Ever. Can anyone say Minority Report? Oh, look, you’re wearing a GAP tshirt… let’s feed some GAP adds to your console. NO THANK YOU.

PaintParty – Gay. Extra. Extremely gay.

Milo – Ok, I thought the facial recognition was creepy. Milo, is entirely fucking insane. It’s not good. It’s CREEPY. Really, really creepy. “Real characters”? It’s called the outside world! Stand up, go outside and meet your neighbors.

Wrap up. Looks like it’ll be a good year for the 360, minus that super creepy Natal stuff. Game wise, some pretty good stuff coming out. I’ll be back with an another wrap up of some others later.

Matt out.