Stupid things I’ve heard today, and my justifiably sarcastic response.
Apple Fan Boy: “Mac’s are better because every Windows peripheral works with them.”
Me: It’s called USB you fuck-knob. USB works with both equally well. That’s why it’s a hardware standard. That’s almost as fucking stupid as saying “Macs are better because they had Photoshop first”.
Article from Digg: “Everyone knew that Osama Bin Laden was the one who had attacked us. Everyone knew it, that is, up until about the Fall of 2002 when guess what? Saddam Hussein, our corporate news dutifully informed us, had actually been behind the attacks of 9/11.”
Me: You conspiracy theory believing retard. I have NEVER heard anyone say “Saddam Hussein was behind 9/11”. The theory at the time was that Iraq supported terrorism. I hate to break it to you, but that overweight Tom Selic mustache wearing mother-fucker couldn’t plan his way out of a paper bag. Why do you think we found him in a hole instead of some super fortified bunker? You’d think after the first time we bombed his ass back to the stone-age he would have been better prepared if he was indeed some devious mastermind. Go find your tinfoil helmet.
Comment section of same article: This photo is proof of what hit the pentagon. It was a missle, painted to look like an airplane.
Me: Are you high? That has got to be the worst PhotoChop job I’ve ever seen. You even cut and pasted the WINDOWS of the plane onto whatever missle you were doodling in MS Paint. Seriously? You people believe this is actual proof? I weep for our future.
Digg article tagline: “US has covertly been arming Gulf States since 2004. A recently disclosed US agreement with Saudi Arabia for a 10-year, $20 billion dollar arms sale is a done deal.” (Me: followed by tons of shocked and angry comments)
Me: Ummmm, yeah. Actually, we’ve been arming them since the late 70’s. We armed Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, and have been for decades. Do you people ever actually read history do you just drop your jaws every time CNN drops a nugget of partial truth on you? WE ROUTINELY SELL ARMS TO OTHER COUNTRIES. There’s nothing “covert” about it. Why do you think the Saudi airforce flys F-16s?
CNN yesterday, just after the bridge collapse: Nancy Grace, talking to an eye witness – “So, are you saying you heard an explosive before this happened” Eyewitness: “No, I said I heard a rumble as it was falling down”. NG: “So, what you’re telling me is that you don’t think it was natural?” EW: “If by natural you mean an earthquake or something, then no.” NG: “You heard it here, the i35 bridge in Minneapolis, brought down by some human factor. Were terrorists involved? We’re looking into it.”
Me: I can’t even explain how much I hate you. I heard this at 6:45, about 20 minutes after the bridge collapsed. It took 20 minutes for CNN to stop reporting the actual news of this tragedy and start trying to spin it. 20 fucking minutes. They make me sick. Of course, after everyone started talking about the bridge and it’s structural issues, they dropped the terrorist angle like a hot potato. Still, that was the first place they went? Something bad just happened, must have been the terrorists. I almost threw the remote at the TV. It was then I remembered that Shark Week was on and I turned off Nancy Grace’s fucking sideways, mongoloid face in favor of a different kind of bottom feeding animal.
That is all.
Is this “Anger Keeps Me Warm At Night” a new feature at the blog?
I hope that’s a yes.