Routinely, I give out fake information to people and businesses. I don’t do it out of spite… well… actually, yeah I probably do. I see zero need for the people at Best Buy, Circuit City, Radioshack, Home Depot or any of the other million buisnesses that claim they need that information, to actually have that information. I bought a DVD from them, that’s all they should care about. They don’t need to know my life story. Isn’t the fact that I’m buying Tombstone on DVD for the 4th time telling enough?
So, not seeing the need to treat these information whoring stores with any respect, I make up stuff. I do it daily. For the longest time I would make up someone completely. Biff Hardrock or Jonny Hammer, something like that. Unfortunatly, those sound like wrestling names. Come to find out that your average BestBuy employee goes home and watches nothing but WWE when their shift is done, and this started to raise a few eyebrows. So, I decided to find out exactly what level of education these folks have. If they can recognise my fake names, they’ll often smile knowingly and put the data into the computer anyway. I feel that in some small way I just made their day a little brighter.
I started off pretty hardcore, throwing around names like Kofi Annan, Dashiell Hammett and Dean Moriarty. Quickly realizing no one had any idea who those people were, I aimed a little lower. Currently I have three that I use interchangeably…
Arthur Dent, Art Bell and John McClane. You’d be surprised how many people just put stuff like this into the computer and don’t even think about it…
42 Beebblebrox Lane
Insert Town, State
I enjoy doing this way to much.
Personally, I give my former boss’ office number as my phone number, in hopes that some market researcher from Best Buy’s call sheet rings her twice a week, offering credit cards and low-interest loans tailored for her former nemesis, Jon Nagle.
Just the idea of keeping my name alive in her office, especially in that way, warms my soul.
Thinking that someone didn’t balk at your name being Kofi Annan warms me as well. Ha.
Makes me wonder if one could get away with Slartibartfast…
you should try Bill Preston or Ted Logan (Excellent!)