You know… usually a day doesn’t go by where I don’t hear of something else that pisses me off. I don’t know what kind of diseased funk this country has gotten itself into but everything is taking the fast track to the shitter and it’s really starting to get on my nerves. Everything from corporate America to the music industry, price of gas and commercials before the movies at the cinemas. THIS SHIT DIDN’T USE TO HAPPEN!!!!!!!! Why doesn’t anybody see this?!?!?! Why is everyone O.K. with being charged $2.50 at an ATM? Today, like most days, is no exception. In fact, today I’ve come across at least a dozen things that really really piss me off. And now I’ll share them with you in hopes that someone else MIGHT be slightly annoyed as well. Maybe if enough people don’t like what the worlds coming to we can turn it around and change it. The odds of that happening are pretty fucking slim, but it’s worth a shot.
Before I get to all the things that are pissing me off today, I’d like to hypothesize as to some of the reasons why all this is happening. My first thought is that the gene-pool got real shallow real quick. Think about it. How many times have you see someone cross 3 lanes of traffic and nearly kill 20 people only to think “man that guy is dumb”? Now think about how often you did that 10 years ago. How often did we hear about guns in schools, people suing McDonalds for being fat, SUVs, cell phones etc? STUPID PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO KILL US! I can say, without fear of being mistaken, that the person that designed the first consumer SUV (note: not for commercial or industry use, where they might need a larger vehicle) was a raving ass-hat. “Gee, this thing only gets 2.5 miles to the gallon, but it can transport the entire ass-hat soccer team so I guess it’s a good idea.” We should find that guy and hit him with a really big stick until he apologizes.
My second theory is actually an age old one. That this is the end times, Armageddon is approaching and we’re all fucked. Who else could invent MTV but the devil? Come on now, think about. Put your “I’m not religious so you must be wrong” dogma away and think about it. The whole “entertainment” industry is crap, there’s nothing good on TV, Frank Sinatra is dead, baseball has disenchanted sports fans, mothers don’t stay home with their kids and teach them whats right and wrong, there are shootings in ELEMENTARY schools, the government is fucking everything up and somehow Justin Temberlake is allowed to live. What other explanation can there be but the existence of pure evil?
Speaking of pure evil, my last and final possibility involves just that. Not satanic evil mind you, but the evil of man. Corporate man to be exact. Yup, the phrase “damn the man” has never been so aptly used than in today’s society. Who’s trying to make you pay for downloading songs? The man. Who’s trying to cover up the fact that their new line of cars will kill you instantly on impact? The man. Who’s scared of kids having a good time and outlaws events with more than 20 people? Yup, you guessed it, the man. Pop music, fatty foods, health and “beauty” products, gas prices, CD prices, The Gap, Microsoft, the downfall of western culture… all easily blamable on “the man.” I mentioned yesterday an article that pointed out that CDs should only cost a dollar or two. This is a perfect example of what I’m talking about. Companies, marketing teams, board of directors, and people like them, deciding to sell a consumer product at a 1500% percent mark-up only because they can and people are stupid enough to buy it.
All this crap makes me sick. There’s not much I can do about it either. Believe me I try though. I’ve written a total of 7 letters of my congressman. I’ve even considered writing one to our president but I figured he’d never be able to figure out words with more than 4 letters. I’m by no means a perfect person, forsaking all consumer goods and living in a cave with nothing but a computer and a home-spun linen cloth. No, I sit at home, in my leather office chair, drinking a Mt.Dew, with my New Balance sneakers on, downloading music and pondering which major film brand to put in my expensive camera next. Like I said, I’m not perfect. I’m far from it. But I do my part. I refuse to buy an SUV, I don’t wear anything made my Nike, I bought an AMD processor and didn’t pay full retail price for Windows XP. I don’t shop at Walmart if I can avoid it, I read Jack Kerouac on the weekends instead of watching Sunday Night Football on NBC and I download as much music as humanly possible. That’s right, fuck the RIAA, fuck Britney Spears, fuck congress, their laws and the horses they rode in on. This is the one thing I’ve picked to be completely and totally adamant on. I will NOT ever stop downloading music. I will only buy import CDs or from small independent artists. I will make a stand. My bumper stickers (anti-RIAA and Pro MP3) are already on my car. Damn the man, damn him as soon, as often and as hard as possible.
“Damn the man, save the Empire”
Ok, so now you know the reasons behind my anger. Now, how about a few specifics to liven up your day. I hope you enjoy the evilness that is our world:
Fuck you, RIAA and your attempts to shame people into not downloading music.
M.U.S.I.C stands for something other than Must Unite and Sack Idiotic Congressmen, although I wish it didn’t.
The RAVE Act, whose acronym stands for “Reducing Americans’ Vunerability to Ecstacy” is vague and useless. Great to see that “the system” is really at work. Good job boys. Read more.
War. Are you people insane? Wait… you are. Nevermind.
Another great idea: Record Labels Request Online Sabotage Rights. Umm, no thank you. I don’t want the future of the internet to be determined by the same people who gave the green light to a Justin Timberlake solo album.
What a good idea… charging for something that should be free. What’s next, ATMs that charge you for using them… wait a second. Uh oh.
Stealing commissions… now that’s just wrong.
Alright, and to finish all this ranting and raving up, here’s an actual quote from an artist on the M.U.S.I.C website. Enjoy the stupidity of people who should know better.
“Musiq, Singer, Platinum Award Winning Urban Music Artist, “AIJUSWANASEING: “I think that people do need to be educated on the seriousness of music piracy because it cuts into hard working people’s money, especially the artists—people like me.”
A: Your name is Musiq and your cd is called “AIJUSWANASEING”. You sir, are a moron.
B: You’re an “urban” cover artist. You don’t “work hard.” You cover Stevie Wonder tunes you ass-hat.
C: Aren’t you being a tad self-centered, especially considering your house probably costs more money than anyone who’s ever downloaded anything you “yelled in the microphone and recorded” might ever see.
Stupid people piss me off. A lot.
Fun new things to think about:
1) Fleet charges customers for transactions made at live tellers. That’s right, if you decide to go in to talk to a real person and deposit a check, it costs extra.
2) The hot new party drug is a mixture of Ecstacy and Viagra.
3) The biggest music news I’ve heard in a week is that Justin admitted to having sex with Britney.
1) Yah, Bank of America has been doing that shit for years. They also have ATMs that not only charge you $2.50, but make you watch tv spots while you’re waiting for your transaction to finish.
Okay This Has Got Out Of Hand!!
I have been a fan of justin and britney for a long time and it makes me sad to see them like this! God there a great cupple Justin if you just close you eyes for one second you will see that britney is the girl for you!!!!!