Well, it’s December. I have a real love-hate relationship with December. I love cold weather, I’m still a New Englander at heart and there’s just something about the chill, seeing your breath outside, the wind, the quiet, the gray skies. It’s peaceful. Winter also means skiing, which was a huge part of my life for a long time, even though I don’t get to go very often, it’s still something I think of fondly.
December also brings my birthday, and Christmas, and depression. I don’t think I have what we’re now calling “Seasonal Affective Disorder”, at least I’ve never been diagnosed with it officially. I just don’t really get into the season, and I don’t really like my birthday in general.
I’ve never really had a “good” birthday. When I was younger it was tough to have birthday parties because my birthday is so close to Christmas (just a couple days). My parents also usually took my younger brother to hockey camps in Decemeber. So, I was alone for a good number of birthdays. I’m not blaming them, we always celebrated when they got back, but on the actual day of, I was usually by myself.
There were a couple times I managed to cobble together some sort of event. I can remember once or twice having Chip, Chris and Josh over for some videos games, those were good times, but I think that was about it. The biggie was my 18th birthday. I had to work that night and when I got home everyone was gone, there was a note on the counter and a $20 bill. The note read “Happy Birthday, get yourself some pizza, we’ll be back on Saturday”, or something similar. That was pretty much the final straw. From that point on, I just didn’t really enjoy my birthday.
My wife has been really good about making sure we always do something for my birthday now, even if it’s just going out to eat. She’s knows I’m kinda down this time of year and always tries to cheer me up.
This year we tried getting people together for a “End of the World” party, since my birthday and the end of the world seem to be lined up nice and fittingly. No dice. Everyone is out of town or traveling. I had really wanted to go big this year. Big party, food, booze, the whole 9 yards. Oh well.
Christmas is a whole other “thing” that I won’t get into, but let’s just say that I’m not really looking forward to it. This almost perfectly sums it up. Sigh. At least there’s eggnog.
At least I have my family, my friends, my health. There’s a lot to be thankful for. I usually remember that in the end, but don’t mind me if I get a little “bah humbug” between now and then.