I’m seriously considering a hypothesis that most of the world is retarded. Much like how 90% of the earth is covered by water, 90% of the people around me are complete and total idiots.

I’m referring to Time Warner specifically. The technitian, it seems, did not do as I requested the first time. I knew full well that there was about 6 cable splitters between the outside box and my computer room. I asked for the signal to be untrapped at the box and I asked for the spiltters to be bypassed and the signal sent directly to my study. I have ZERO plans on having TV service so I don’t care if the living room is bypassed all together. All of this wasn’t done. The result is a signal that I’ve had before.

After years and YEARS of dealing with cable modems and cable companies, there are some basic things that are required for proper service. A clean, powerful signal is one of them. I’ve dealt with shitty signals in dorms, in my 2 apartments in Savannah, in my house in NH, in my first apartment here. I KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS. I don’t need to sit on hold for tech support for 20 minutes only to be asked to turn off/on my modem. That’s not going to fix it you morons!

The problem is IN the wall. Its the fact that apartments are made as cheap as possible and that there’s 1 and only 1 line coming into them. That line, to service all the rooms in the apartment, is spilt 6 times (!!!) before it ever reaches a wall outlet. Each time it’s split, part of the signal is split with it. 1/6 of a signal is not going to cut it for me.

I ran several speed tests this morning before calling. I have an acceptable download speed, about 1400k/s, but that could be better, I’ve had it as high as 4M. My upload speeds however, were ranging from 18k/s to 140k/s. That, is simply not acceptable. 18k/s???

I tried to play BF2 last night. I connected, started moving, and immediately got disconnected for connection problems. Basically, I have enough download speed to check my email, but not enough to SEND email. That’s how pathetic it is.

So, to tech support I call. My favorite people in the universe. You’ve all heard the stories of my displeasure for Tier 1 support. I loath them. Sure, they’re only doing their jobs, but asking me if the lights on my modem are on is not going to cut it this time around.

Tier 1:
They ask me the usual “are the lights on” and “turn off your modem for me” questions. I tell them yes they are on and that I’m not at my computer to turn it off. The immediate response is “Sir, you’ll have to call back when you’re in front of you computer”. The hell I will. I say that this isn’t my first rodeo and that I know specifically what the problem is, describing the problem in detail. This confuses them and I get pushed to a Tier 2.

Tier 2:
Repeats the same tier 1 questions and asks me to restart my system this time. I go through the whole speech all over again. This time they understand and say that there isn’t much they can do from that end. I know that and ask for a technitian to come out. They say that they don’t schedule that anymore and they’ll have to transfer me to “local support”. Joy.

Local Support:
Doesn’t even bother asking me any questions, simply asks whats wrong. I explain the whole splitter thing, confusing them, but they agree to send out a technitian to check the lines and my signal strength. I’m astounded when they say the first available appointment is today at noon. I say unfortunately I’ll be at work and ask for a Monday appointment. Now, you’ll have to remember that last time I called they said the first Monday appointment available this month was all the way on the 26th. I’m again astounded when she says they have a 8am, 12pm or 3pm on Monday. Where were these people 2 weeks ago when I tired to get this done in the first place. I agree to the 8am and so, on Monday, we’ll get all this crap cleared up.

What bugs me the most is that I had requested all this in the first place. I know how apartment cabling works, I know how signal strength works. I know I need a clean untrapped signal to get the speeds I should. Maybe the guy thought I was asking to steal cable or something when I asked him to untrap it at the box. I wasn’t, I was being serious. I’ve had this problem dozens of times and it’s the only thing that works. You’d think they’d require an install tech to check the line quality and signal strength when they come out. Apparently they don’t, because all the guy did was turn on the signal at the box outside, come in and plug the modem in, and called it a day. Yes, the modem has a signal, I can physically talk to the outside world. That’s not the problem. The problem is that I’m getting the signal strength of a weak cup of tea.

I wonder sometimes about the gene pool around here.