After years of tedious clinical study, I’ve determined that impossible situations are at least bareable while wearing one’s favorte pair of jeans. Bluejeans it seems, are in fact the worlds most comfortable pants. A persons jeans are very important to them and there is a long “breaking in” period assocaited with them. Much like a baseball glove, the enjoyment increases with “millage”. Also, the quality of jeans plays an important factor. Like shoes, often times the more expensive pairs of jeans last a bit longer than your $10 Walmart specials. There is a “Jean Threshold” however. The price and the quality both increase along the appropriate curves. The peak occurs when a persons jeans become “trendy” instead of quality. Cheap jeans are anything under $20. Quality jeans will run you anywhere from $40-$70. Anything beyond $100 is considered trendy and, upon spotting a pair of trendy jeans you should go out of your way to point out to the owner that in fact your $40 jeans are more comfortable than their outrageously over priced pair. Explain the history and tradition behind the Levi Straus company and how they won the west. Or try explaining that, at the end of the day, you have money left over for coffee while they wallow in their non-caffinated duldrum and look silly in any pants that claim to make you a better person. Only the previously mention coffee has such powers. For those unfamiliar with the warning signs of trendy clothing, here’s what to look for… Keep an eye out for anything clothes that are ripped, torn, stained or bleached and the owner appears quite proud of it. Having shit smeared on your clothing is NOT something sane people aspire to. Also, be on the look out for jewels and stones in odd places. Outlining your crotch in gems may be trendy in France, but here it make you look like you’ve misplaced you helmet. At some point, having the labels still attached has also become popular. That, not only is rediculous, it also looks like you just stole them. If you’re going for the “bad boy/girl” look, having tags on your clothes doesn’t cut it. Replace tags with grenades and maybe I’ll respect your fashion sense. Maybe.
With regard to old jeans that have aquired stains and holes naturally, these rare clothing items need to be cherished and stories of their exploits need to be handed down in the oral traditions of our forefathers. I wear my photo chemical stained jeans with pride, however, for those “fancy dress” occasions, I’m breaking in a nice pair of Levis.