I love coffee. Some might say I’m an addict. I like a good frothy cup of hot coffee in the mornings and even a nice mocha or decaf mocha in the evenings. If it’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s sub-par coffee. To me, powdered non-dairy creamer make about as much sense as a Jewish Hitler. I don’t get it. It’s a powder… that’s not milk… that’s suppose to stand in for milk…. but it’s a powder? Huh? Last time I check, you don’t get powder from a cow. I can understand the non-dairy part if you’re lactose intolerant, but for the love of everything holy, at least use a LIQUID non-dairy creamer. I think my main problem is the taste. They just can’t nail down artificial flavors. Fake milk sure doesn’t taste like real milk. Fake fruit flavors don’t taste like real fruit. When is the last time you had a piece of gum and thought, gee, this really does taste like grape. Grape is the worst offender. They’ve never been able to get that shit right. Compare a grape soda up against a glass of grape juice and see what I mean. But milk… why even bother making fake tasting milk. It’s like the shitty “soy milk” my Mom tried to get me to drink when I was a kid. I’m sorry, you don’t “milk” a soy bean. If you did they’d probably arrest you for lude conduct with a legume.

I digress. I think what’s made me mad is that I brought a carton of real cream to work and put it in the fridge. Everyone else is 100% cool with drinking that powdered shit, I figured it would be safe. I went to make my coffee this morning, guess whats missing from the fridge. Yup, my creamer. I got ONE cup of coffee out of that creamer. One cup of coffee that didn’t taste like ass and now its gone. So, what am I drinking. Brown sludge with white powder in it. Huzzah.