If I hear one more website put forward the notion that the new GTA is not only better than sliced bread but in fact redefines the loaf, someone is going to have a substantial loss of blood. I think I’m the only one that realizes that we’re heading into the summer video game season and summer is always dry and crappy. There is nothing more transparent than the summer video game release schedule. It’s the polar opposite of the movie schedule.

It’s simple. Games that didn’t make it for the holiday sales push, get released in the first two retail quarters of the next year. Everything else either has an unannounced release date or is slated for winter.

This doesn’t stop the more, shall we say, monetarily influenced media outlets from decrying that this year is going to be the best year of all time for video games. This is going to be such a fantastic year.

Horse shit.

While the video game as a medium of entertainment may do very well this year, the upcoming release schedule is a bit lack luster.

Even if I gave a shit about Grand Theft Repetitive, which I don’t, what exactly am I supposed to look forward to for the next 8 months?

Ninja Gaiden, maybe, we’ll see. Metal Gear? There’s never been a more over rated franchise. Killzone and Far Cry? No thank you. Fable 2? I’ll buy it but it won’t be earth shattering. Spore? Starcraft 2? Ha, if those games even get released this decade I’ll be surprised. The only, and I mean only, games that I’m really looking forward to this year are the Jason Bourne game and the new Soul Calibur. But those are games with limited replayability and limited depth, respectively. The latest Jedi games (Force Unleashed) looks promising as well but it won’t be out until the end of September. That’s it. 3, maybe 4 mediocre titles? That’s pathetic.

They’re not really any triple-A titles this year. No Halo, No new Mario, no Half Life. They think they’ll be able to pull off a Gears of War 2 release by November, but I doubt it. Just you wait. It’ll be “Christmas or Q1 2009” by the end of the summer, I guarantee.

“And although the gaming business has been booming for years, 2008 will surely prove to be its breakout year.”

This statement was apparently written by either a CNN corespondent or someone who just “figured out” how to play Peggle… or both. Maybe I’m too involved in my own hobby to have an outside perspective, but I’d say that 2006 was gaming’s breakout year. Unless I’m mistaken, all three major platforms we launching, game sales were up 200% and people were lining up to get there hands on’em. If that’s not a breakout hit for an industry that had the reputation for corrupting the minds of children, I don’t know what is.

So please CNet, save your ill conceived declarations that this year will be so huge for gaming that it will eclipse all others before it. When we get a Halo 4, GTA5, Guitar Hero 6, Rock Band 2, Half-Life 3, Doom 5, Call of Duty 5 year, THAT will be a breakout year for gaming.

2009 might be that year. We’ll have to see. There are certainly enough big franchises working on their next incarnations for it to happen. I doubt we’ll see any major releases like that this year, so that chance of them happening next year are pretty good. But for now we have to endure a long, dark, video game free summer. Be prepared my friends. The drought is upon us.